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sexual relationships

hi i am a 15 year old girl, i live in a care home. there is this 17 year old boy who i really used too like, but he stopped talking too me. we are now talking again and the other night, i ran away and stayed with him over night, in which i lost my virginity to him, i think because of that, i really like him now, but a order has been put on him by the police that if he has any contact with me, he will get arrested. i like him, but i dont think the feeling is mutual and now were in this awkward situation and i am unsure of what too you and it is really special too me:(
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. It sounds like you are really struggling with your feelings at the moment as you really like this boy, but he doesn’t seem to be returning the feelings you have for him. This seems to have also been made more complicated by the fact that he would be breaking the law by contacting you. This could also explain why he hasn't shown you he is feeling something for you.

It sounds like perhaps the police believe that this boy would be a risk to you if he contacts you. It sounds like it's important that you stay away from him, both for your own safety and so that he doesn't get into trouble with the police. It can sometimes feel really difficult to stay away from someone we have strong feelings for, so it’s important you take time to get over your feelings for him.

It sounds like losing your virginity to him made you realise how strongly you feel for him, but the fact that nothing more can happen is leaving you feeling awkward and sad. It can really help to look to the future and surround yourself with people and activities that make you happy. This can help you focus on the positive things in your life. It can be really hard to stop our feelings, so often doing things we enjoy can help to take our mind off these feelings. This can also help us find new hobbies, interests and skills - which can also lead to meeting new people.

You’ve done really well to write to me. How would you feel if you were able to share what you’re going through with an adult who you trust, like a teacher or a carer? This might make you feel more supported so you’re not dealing with things on your own. You might find it useful to take a look at our tips for asking an adult for help.

If you want to talk some more about the way you are feeling, there are always ChildLine counsellors available to listen to you and support you. You can contact them by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat, through email or by phone on 0800 1111.

Take care,
Sam

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