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Sexual abuse

This guy I have been seeing since I was 15 is 20 years old and I used to go and see him on a Saturday and then one day her started telling me that he loved me and suggested Tht we'd sleep together so of course I said yes and the same with the 2nd time and the 3rd time and so on
He then started to record us having sex and posting it on several websites and now his tempor is getting more and more aggressive and now he is forcing me to come over to his place everyday just to sleep with him
 
I am now scared that he will start hitting me and raping me if I say that I want to break up I don't want to be with him but I'm so scared now
Please please please answer this
 
Tasha
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Sam

Hi there Tasha,

Thanks for your message and for telling me about what’s been happening for you. It sounds like what this guy is doing is really scaring you. It’s great that you have recognised that what he is doing is sexual abuse. I would like you to know that what he is doing is wrong and is against the law.

No one has the right to force you into doing anything you do not feel comfortable with, even if he is someone you have known a long time or is your boyfriend.

You mentioned that he has been posting these videos on the internet. There is an agency that has been set up to protect young people online, and you can report anything that has been posted about you online, or something that you find upsetting. You can report this through the CEOP website, or you can visit Thinkuknow which is designed to give children and young people further information on online abuse and tips on keeping yourself safe.

What this guy is doing is very serious and something that the police could support you with and there are ways that they can keep you safe from him. If you ever felt you were in any immediate danger, you could ring 999 to get immediate help. Is there any one you could talk to about what’s happening to you who you think could help you talk to the police? This is a big step for some people and something you might want to get support with.

Perhaps you could also think of ways that you could try to keep yourself safe if you ever do feel in any danger when you are with him. This can be creating a safe plan about what you would do in a situation to try to keep safe. There are also people who would be able to support you to plan this, a good place to start is Women’s Aid, who you can contact by phone on 0808 2000 247. Their website gives support and information on local support services which might be available in your area. It is very important, however, that you know that this is not your fault and that you can get help to make sure you are safe when you are ready to do so. You deserve to be treated with respect and no one should ever hurt you.
 
There are lots of people whose job it is to support you and talking to a counsellor at Childline is a really good first step to thinking about the way you feel and weighing up your options. If you would like to get in touch to talk this through you can either call on 0800 1111 (which is free and doesn’t show up on your bill), talk to a counsellor online in a 1-2-1 chat or send an email.

Take care,

Sam

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