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Sexual abuse in relationships

I was pressured into doing things i didn't want to do with my now ex boyfriend. I tried telling him I didn't want to do anything but he kept saying if you rea liked me you would do it, and I tried protesting against this hit he didnt really care and did things anyway. I can't stop thinking about it (it was about a week ago now) and i really just need some advice?

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Sam

Hi there,

I want you to know that the way your ex-boyfriend treated you was wrong. Everyone has the right to choose whether or not they have sex in their own time. It’s never okay for someone to force or pressure you into doing something you’re not ready for.

It’s important to remember that what happened wasn’t your fault. Whether it’s in a relationship or not, when someone makes you do something sexual without your consent this is sexual assault and it’s never okay.

Being able to say how you feel is an important part of any healthy relationship. When someone doesn’t respect your feelings about sex that’s not okay.

It’s normal to feel lots of different emotions after an experience like this. It can be hard to stop thinking about it and even more difficult thinking about what to do next. The most important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Getting support isn’t about getting anyone into trouble but is about making sure that you’re okay.

There are lots of ways that you can get support. One of best is to speak to an adult you trust. Trusted adults can be anyone, including parents, teachers or family friends. Telling someone can take time, but it’s never too late to get support.

If you’re not ready to tell someone in your life yet but you want to talk it through, you can also speak to a Childline counsellor any time.

The counsellors at Childline won’t ever judge you or tell you what to do, but they will listen to you and give you a safe space to think about what you want to happen. You can even talk about things anonymously on Childline’s message boards.

Take care,

Sam

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