Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I am currently having sex with quite a few boys in my year. They tell me they have no STI's but most of them probably haven't even checked. I am scared incase i do have any STI's. Also i have been eating strange foods and my foster parents say that it's a sign of pregnancy, they wouldn't be very happy if i was but if someone offers me sex i find it hard to find the strength to say no. I have discussed STI's and pregnancy with the boy's but they all just laugh it off. I'm on the pill but  i wouldn't know if i'm pregnant and i'm scared to see my GP as it is my great uncle's, girlfriends, brother's, son's best friend.
Ask Sam



Thank you for sending your letter to me.

You told me you’re worried about catching an STI from the boys that you’ve slept with, even though they told you they don’t have any. When you tried to discuss STIs and pregnancy with the boys they have just laughed it off, and didn’t take your concerns seriously.

It shows that you were trying to take responsibility for what you’re doing when you tried to talk to the boys. It can be difficult to talk about sex and contraception, but you should be able to talk about whatever you want with the person that you’re in a relationship with. It’s natural to have worries about having sex, but the most important things are that you’re happy with what you’re doing and that you’re safe.

You told me that you struggle to find the strength to say 'no'.It’s important not to feel pressured to do something you’re not happy about. I wonder how it would be if you did try saying 'no', if you are in the same situation again and don’t want to have sex? There can be a lot of pressure from other people to have sex and it might seem like everyone else is doing it or talking about it. It can take time to develop new relationships and everyone deserves to feel happy and cared for.

If you think it will be difficult talking to your GP, you could contact Brook. This organisation offers advice on sexual health issues, contraception, pregnancy, abortion, and relationships. Their helpline number is 0808 802 1234. There’s a lot of useful information on their website and it may be that there is a local clinic in your area where you could go to speak to someone. The more you know, the fewer risks you will take.

It may be helpful to look at the ChildLine message boards - sometimes it can be useful to read posts from other young people with similar experiences.
You can talk to a ChildLine counsellor about anything that is on your mind. You can ring 0800 1111 to talk to someone directly, have an online 1-2-1 chat (similar to MSN messaging) through our website, or send an email. You would be able to get a better understanding of how things are for you and begin to think of ways to get support and feel happy and confident in your relationships.

I’m really glad that you’ve contacted Childline and I hope we hear from you again when you’re ready.

Take care,


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