Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. I can hear how worried you are that you ended up ejaculating inside your girlfriend when you had sex. Firstly, if it’s been less than 5 days since it happened, you still have time to use emergency contraception, to try to stop your girlfriend from getting pregnant in the first place. The Brook website has more information about emergency contraception (sometimes called the 'morning after pill') and where you can get hold of it. Brook is a confidential sexual health advice service for young people up to the age of 25 and has a lot of useful information.

If it’s too late for emergency contraception, and your girlfriend misses a period, then the next thing to do would be to take a pregnancy test. You can buy pregnancy tests from supermarkets and chemists or get them for free from your doctor, family planning clinic or local Brook advisory clinic. If you went to a GP surgery or a clinic, they would be able to give you some advice about what your options are, depending on the result of the pregnancy test.

I’m really pleased that you were mature enough to write in and ask me for advice. I have to point out that unprotected sex (e.g. not using a condom or another kind of contraception) is really risky and is just generally not a great idea. It’s really important to remember that even if you don’t ejaculate, or if you pull out first, there’s still a chance your girlfriend could get pregnant. Apart from the chance of pregnancy, you need to think about protecting the both of you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) too. Even if you’ve been sexually active with just one other person, and even if you have no symptoms, there’s still a chance you could pass something on to each other.

A lot of guys might think that condoms get in the way, or that they are just too much of a hassle. But using a condom will be lot less hassle than dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. If you are under 25, it’s really easy to get hold of them for free. If you just can’t get on with condoms, then there are lots of different types of contraception so you will be able to choose contraception that is right for both of you. You could look at the Contraception page in Explore for more info.

It sounds like you both need to start thinking about how you can stop this situation happening again. Having an honest and open conversation with your girlfriend about contraception can be a way of getting closer, and it also shows you that you respect her.

Take care and good luck

Sam