Ask Sam letter


To Sam


dear sam

my boyfriend keeps pressuring me to have sex with him and we're both only 13! i don't want to but i really want keep him as a boyfriend. i want to try sex to see what its like but i know it's not really good for someone my age.

what should i do?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s really good to hear from you and you are doing the right thing to share your concerns about the relationship between you and your boyfriend.

You say that you really want to keep your boyfriend but don’t want to have sex although you are curious about what sex would be like. Having these feelings is perfectly ok and entirely natural. It sounds like you are really mature to think of talking the situation through before going ahead with something you are not sure of.

I can see that your boyfriend is pressuring you into having sex with him and that you are both only 13. It is really important that you both feel that the time is right to take your relationship to this stage. No one has the right to pressure you into doing something that you are not comfortable with. This is your decision and you have the right to choose to have sex in your own time when you feel ready. If you are not ready then it is ok to say no. Something else to think about is that having sex when you are under the age of 16 is against the law.

Before thinking about having sex it is important to look at how you can protect yourself from pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. There is lots of information on the Brook and Like It Is websites. If you want to read more about how other young people are dealing with similar situations you could look at the ChildLine Sex and sexual health message board.

Another option is talking to one of the ChildLine counsellors. You can do this by ringing on 0800 1111 or creating an account and using the online chat. All the counsellors are trained to listen and will not judge you or tell you what to do. It would also give you a safe place to talk through your feelings about the pressure that is being put on you and how you are coping with this.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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