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Sex abuse

im a 16 year old female ane so the other night i went to a party with my friends as we usually do at the weekend. there is a boy there and we usually like to sneak off to have a little kiss and we like it because it it provate Nd sort of sexy. anyway this night he had a dmoke then told me to meet him in a room so i followrd him in and we started kissing like we usually do, his hands started wondering and at first i said yes because i thought it was what i wanted but this time it felt strange and uncomfortable, so i told him to stop but he didnt then after about trree times of telling him to stop he told me to shit up and help my hands back to stop me from pushing me off. he was pullingg my hair and callig me things like a dorty slut i felt gross about myself and he kept trying to convince me that i was enjoying it and that he knew what was best for me. in the end he stopped and told me not to twll andyone then kissed me again amd said he knew what was right for me I beilieved him because he is like everyones best mate i trust him. the next day i realised what happened was not right but dont know know to approch the situation. i told one of my friends and she suggested asking on here

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Sam

Hi there,

Whenever someone touches you sexually when you don't want them to, this is sexual assault. What happened to you is wrong and against the law. It's always okay to talk about what happened and tell someone. It's your choice what you do next and it's important you make this decision for yourself.

When someone wants to do something sexual with you, they need to respect your wishes. If you say yes but then decide you don't want to anymore, they should stop and understand that sometimes people change their mind. It's always okay to say no to sex, even if you said yes before. No one has the right to put pressure on you.

If someone tells you not to tell anyone about something like this, it can be a good sign that they know what they've done is wrong. Nobody should pressure you to keep something to yourself. If anyone is doing this, try asking yourself why they might not want anyone to find out - it may because they're scared about getting into trouble for what's happened.

You are not to blame for this person's behaviour. There's nothing you could have said or done to make it okay for him to treat you this way. While he took away any choice you had at the time, you do have a choice now. You get to decide what happens next. If you want to tell someone about what happened, like an adult you trust, that would be okay. You don't have to keep this to yourself - you've not done anything wrong. If you don't feel ready to tell anyone yet or feel unsure about what might happen next then it's also okay to not tell anyone right away. It's important for you to feel ready and comfortable if you do decide to talk to an adult about this.

If you want to practise first with a Childline counsellor, they are here to listen to you and confidentially talk about what happened.

​I hope this helps, thanks for your letter.

Sam

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