Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Religion and Relationships


Firstly I'm sorry i have to waste your time with this letter, its a drain on resources but I need help and I don't know where else to get it.

Right, so I'm part of this religion which is... somewhat restrictive when it comes to the people I date. Its what we believe God requires of us. For the past few months I've been doubtful whether there even is a God and I've made this known to everyone else. I'm ashamed to say I've been slagging God off to people... Including my girlfriend.

But recently I've... idk... I want to try do what my religion asks. Which means I need to break up with my girlfirend. I don't wanna hurt her, she doesn't deserve it, but I feel it has to be all or nothing. I just don't know what to say to her...

I know how stupid this must seem, as a student of science, logic and reason myself, I can imagine how petty, and juvinile I must sound to believe in a God but.... idk i need to try :/

Ik you probably can;t help but i want another persons perspective on this. Thanks for your time.

Yours Truely, a confused kid

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for telling me what you’re going through. I can tell that life is difficult for you right now and you’re feeling quite confused. You’ve definitely not wasted my time by writing and I’m really glad that you did. 

You seem like you’ve been having really mixed feelings about your religion and about your relationship, and it sounds like a lot to cope with. What you’ve said doesn’t sound petty. I can hear that it is very important to you that you try to follow your religion. Lots of people have doubts about their beliefs and sometimes people’s beliefs change over time. What matters is choosing what feels right for you. 

I get the feeling that you want to try and follow your religion wholeheartedly. I’m wondering whether you’ve got any support with doing this. It can help to talk to people you trust, and many religions have faith leaders who can be there to offer advice and support to people who are questioning their beliefs. Maybe you could speak to a family member you’re close with and visit a religious leader together. 

If you want to talk things through with somebody who won’t give you religious advice, remember that you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor. They can help you to think about things more but they won’t tell you what to do. Instead, they will support you to make your own choices.

You said that you need to break up with your girlfriend and it seems as though you really care about her. I can hear that you’re looking for a way to talk to her without hurting her. I’m wondering whether you think that it would be possible to end your relationship without her feeling upset. The important thing is to be very honest with her so she knows your reasons for finishing with her. You’ve been really clear in your letter to me so it could help to write down the things you’d like to say to her, either just to plan it out or to give to her as a letter before discussing it with her more. 

You have been thinking a lot about your religion. It can take time to figure things out when you are considering your beliefs as this is so deep and personal. Remember that you don’t have to try and cope with this on your own.

I hope that things go well for you.

Take care,

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