Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Raped 2 years ago and still cant deal with it.

I was raped 2 years ago when i was on holiday with friends, and i still cant deal with it. Every time i think about it i feel the start of a panic attack, i cant breathe my chest gets tight and i feel really weak, and i just dont know what to do anymore.

I dont feel like i can tell anyone after all this time and honestly dont think i could even begin to talk about it. Its actually starting to ruin my life, i cry all the time and im terrified when im alone in the house. Im just really struggling with everything at the moment.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me about how you are feeling at the moment. What happened to you on holiday was wrong but it was not your fault. It is really brave of you to write and ask for support at what sounds like a very difficult time for you.

You mention that you experience panic attacks and that the memory of what has happened is ruining your life. You say that you don’t feel like you could tell anyone and that is understandable because speaking up about sexual abuse is a really brave and difficult thing to do. You might be worried that if you tell someone they won’t believe you. Some people may also find it upsetting to be told about something as serious as sexual abuse and may find it difficult to come to terms with.

Maybe you could consider speaking to a ChildLine counsellor in confidence about what happened. The trained counsellors will give you time and space to talk about how you feel and you can tell them as much or as little as you wish. You can call a counsellor 24/7 on 0800 1111, send a private email or have a 1-2-1 chat online.

You may also find support via the ChildLine sexual abuse message boards. Other young people who have experienced sexual abuse have posted about their experiences and you could post a message seeking support from the online community too if you felt able to.

There is also a charity organisation called Rape Crisis who support people who have experienced sexual violence. They have a helpline number, 0808 802 9999 which is free to contact on open from 12pm - 2.30pm and 7pm - 9.30pm daily. Find out more about how they can support you at Rape Crisis.

You have been so brave writing to me to tell me about what happened to you. Remember that you do not have to cope with this by yourself as there are people out there waiting to help and support you through this difficult time.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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