Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Rape

hi, ano this doesnt fit into this weeks theme, but i dont know what to do. i was raped a few months ago and i feel like my whole family is blaming me, they might not be saying it but i feel like every arguement is my fault. i feel so alone.

Please help me.

Thanks k

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch with me about what has happened. I just want to let you know that what happened was not your fault no one ever has the right to hurt you. I can hear that you feel alone so I am really glad that you have wrote to me as it sounds like you are being really brave with everything that is going on for you.

I am not sure what your relationship was like with your family before the rape but it can sometimes be difficult for families to fully understand what happened and how you are feeling. Maybe you could think about talking to them about how you feel that they are blaming you even though they don’t say it. It is wrong for anyone to blame you for what happened. What happened was not your fault.

I can see that things are difficult for you and it sounds like you could use some support. You don’t mention in your message if there is anyone else that would be able to give you the support that deserve. Perhaps there is someone at school or another trusted adult you could talk to.

There is more information about who you can get help and advice from in the Explore page about Rape and sexual assault. Maybe this is something that you could think about as it might help talking to an adult about what is going on for you so that you can started to get the support you deserve. 

I just want to let you know that if you ever wanted to talk about what is going on for you then you can always speak to a ChildLine counsellor. You can log on for a 1-2-1 chat or call for free on 0800 1111. They are here for you and would like to help support you. You don't have to go through this alone.

Take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter