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Hi there,
Thanks for writing to me.
It's really good to hear that you want to explain to him how you're feeling. I can hear that you are worried that your boyfriend will leave you because you are not ready to have sex with him. There is more to having a relationship than sex. Being in a relationship is about two people who trust and respect each other.
No one should be trying to pressure you into sex before you are ready. Deciding to have sex is a big decision. The law says you need to be 16 before you can have sex. The most important thing is that you are ready and are making that choice yourself.
Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship so I would say its a good idea to talk about it be sure to mention how much you love him as well as how you feel about waiting to have sex. Perhaps you could also say that youve been worried about how it would affect your relationship by not having sex, so he knows thats been on your mind.
I understand that it can be really scary talking about sex but you said in your message that 'he is a really great guy' and if he is then he will respect your decision and will wait until you feel completely ready. Our pages on sex and relationships might be useful to you as they cover talking about sex with a partner and advice on relationships.
If you wanted to talk things through a bit more you can always contact a ChildLine counsellor either on a 1-2-1 chat, email or by phoning for free on 0800 1111. Counsellors are there for you and will support you with what you're going through.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.