Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Pregnant but don't know who is the father

im pregnatnt with 4 boys and I don't know whos the father im 15 but none of them know that I have had sex with more than one boy.dunno what to do,missed my period two months ago,pregnancy test came back positive and feeling

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Getting pregnant when you haven't planned to can be very scary – especially if you feel like you’re alone. There are different ways you could find out who the father is, but whoever he is what happens next is your choice. There are different options when you become pregnant and it's important to know all of them before you make your decision.

The first thing to do would be to go to your GP. When you’re pregnant it's important to get the right medical advice. Your GP will keep what you tell them confidential, as long as you’re not being abused or hurt or in any danger. The doctor will be able to give you an accurate pregnancy test which can tell you how far into the pregnancy you are. Knowing this might help you to work backwards and figure out who the father is depending on who you were with at the time.

If this doesn't make who the father is clear then you could try a prenatal paternity test. This is a test done during the pregnancy to determine who the baby's father is. It's important to know that not all doctors will agree to this as it can be risky. To do this you’d also need all four potential fathers to know you're pregnant and to agree to give a DNA sample for the paternity test - which might be a difficult conversation with each of them.

Whoever the father is, it’s your decision what to do next. When you’re pregnant you have three options - to continue with the pregnancy and raise the child, to continue but give the baby up when it's born or to end the pregnancy with an abortion. Nobody can tell you what the best option is, you have to decide that for yourself. All of them are valid options and it's okay to go with whichever one you choose.

Your GP will give you more detailed advice about your options when you see them, but in the meantime Brook have some good advice that I can recommend. You could also try talking to a Childline counsellors - they are there to support you and won't judge or tell you what to do.

Thanks for sending me this letter, I hope it's helped.

Take care.


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