Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Pregnant and scared to tell mum

Hi, I've recently turned 15 and have been having protected sex with my boyfriend for a couple of months. I've noticed that my period is late or maybe I've missed it, I'm not sure. I've told my older sister about it all, but she doesn't know what I should do. I’m really scared to get a pregnancy test and if it's positive I have no idea how to tell my mum. She's a doctor, and normally we talk fairly openly about things, but I know that she'd be so disapointed in me, and I doubt that she'd believe that we'd used a condom, which is why I'm so confused, and that would probably make her quite angry. I have no idea what to do, and I know that so many people are far worse off than I am, but I don't know what else to do :/
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch. I can hear how worried you are feeling at the moment.

It’s great that you and your boyfriend have taken the time to think about contraception and to be responsible about having sex. I can hear it’s frustrating for you to be in this situation despite being careful. Condoms are not always 100% effective, but sometimes periods can be late for reasons other than pregnancy too. Until you take a pregnancy test it’s not definite that you are actually pregnant. I can hear you don’t want to take one but it’s important to find out one way or another. If you are pregnant, then the sooner you find out, the more time you’ll have to decide what you want to do.

You can get free pregnancy tests from lots of different places – your GP, a family planning or young person’s sexual health clinic, some NHS walk-in centres and Brook clinics. Brook is an organisation you may want to talk to as they will be able to tell you where you can go to get a free test. They have a number you can call for free which is 0808 802 1234. The Brook website also has great advice on sex, contraception and pregnancy.

If you’re worried about talking to mum about all this then maybe you could talk to a ChildLine counsellor first? There is no problem too big or too small to talk to us about and they’d be happy to hear from you. You can call us on 0800 1111 or log on for a 1-2-1 chat. You might also find it helpful to look at the ChildLine message boards and perhaps leave a post to get some advice from other young people.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter