Ask Sam letter

Hi A,
 
Thanks for writing to me and telling me about your relationship with your boyfriend and how confused you feel about whether or not to start a family at the moment. It sounds as though the fact that some of your friends now have children and your boyfriend wants to start a family, are making you think a lot about having a baby.
 
You mentioned that you and your boyfriend tried for and lost a baby and I’m wondering how you’ve coped with this and whether you’ve had any support from anyone. It sounds like a really difficult experience. The Miscarriage Association supports people who have been pregnant and lost babies.

I can hear that you’re torn between wanting a family and wanting an education. What do you think it would be like to be a mum? From your email it sounds as though you really want to make your boyfriend happy and know that he has strong feelings about wanting to start a family with you. It’s OK for you to want an education and decide that you would like to wait before starting a family if that’s what you want. This sounds like a really big decision for you and it can be hard when we have a decision to make knowing it will affect the rest of our lives and our relationships as well. You might find it useful to talk your thoughts and feelings through with a ChildLine counsellor. They will help you explore your options and support you whatever you decide. Many young people tell me that it has helped them to talk their situation through with ChildLine, often it helped them to perhaps see it more clearly or differently.
 
Take care

Sam