Ask Sam letter

Hi E*,

Porn is any printed or online films or photos which show naked people or sexual activity. Porn is made for adults and is not meant to be seen by young people, but I know that young people do watch it too. 

Watching porn is normal and it doesn’t make you a bad person  - but it can have an impact like making people feel confused or upset. Sometimes it can get to the point where a person finds they crave watching it because of the feelings it gives them. Our page about online porn has lots of information and advice about this.

Seeing porn images can give you unrealistic expectations about sex and relationships. Porn doesn't usually show what real sex is like.

The people shown in porn are usually actors who are paid to act and look a particular way. Some of them may have had surgery to make them look the way they do. Porn videos and photos are often adjusted and airbrushed to change the way people look. Porn sometimes shows violence to women or to make women seen as “sex objects” rather than women who have thoughts and feelings of their own, and this can lead to a lack of respect for women in general. There is some discussion on the our message boards about pornography which might be useful to check out the views of other young people.

Having a porn addiction could mean that you feel that watching porn is starting to affect other parts of your life and that you are finding it hard to stop watching it. Changing behaviour can be difficult and it might be that trying to reduce the amount of porn you watch could be a goal to start with and working up to stopping altogether over time. 

Some people find that using distractions help. You could try things like watching a family-friendly film instead, being around family and friends more, doing exercise, starting a new hobby or joining an after school club or out of school activity might help you to direct your thoughts away from porn.

You can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor who would listen and support you.

Take care for now.

Sam