Ask Sam letter


To Sam

No friends

I have just started year 7 and in my new class, i didnt know anyone. i know who people are but i havent got any friends yet. i lie when people when people ask if ive got any friends yet, i say yes but the answer is no. People dont want to be my friend and i think they laugh at me. they is this girl in my class who wants to be my friend but she's not a very nice person. people say when they get in groups for me to go and work with her but i dont want to. i get really shy when i talk to adults. im lost and finding school really upsetting
from K
Ask Sam


Hi K

Thank you for your letter.

Starting a new school can be very stressful and it can make many people feel worried and shy. I hear from a lot of young people who feel lonely at school but the right support and attitude can help them find the confidence to make new friendships.

It might help to talk to someone that you know and trust about how lost you feel at the moment. Sometimes talking to others can help you to see your situation in a different way. If you have some friends from your old school it might be a good idea to talk to them and ask them for some advice. Having good supportive friends outside your class can help you to feel more confident while you’re feeling alone in class.

Perhaps you could try taking the lead and starting up conversations with people in your class, instead of waiting for them to talk to you. Can you think of one or two people who you think might be particularly friendly or kind? You could try starting by showing that you’re interested in them and asking them questions, like how their weekend was. Remember, if you smile and make eye contact with people, even if you’re not feeling very confident, they are more likely to smile back.

You may also want to think about joining after an school club or activity so that you can get to know people who enjoy the same sorts of things as you. Getting involved in interesting activities will also give you something positive to talk about with other people.

You could take a look at the friendship advice page in the Explore section for more information about friendships. You could also visit the friendships message boards and see what other young people have to say about what helped them to make new friends.

Finally, if you would like to talk to a counsellor about this or anything else, you can phone 0800 1111, send an email or log in for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter