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To Sam

No boys like me

In my school boys often say if they fancy you. All of my friends have or had a boy fancying them. But not to me. I mean no boy has told but I feel like I'm a little bit ugly because of this. I'm sort of getting jealous of my friend though because 6 boys have told her that they fancy her! What should I do?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me about how you feel right now, I’m glad you decided to get in touch.

It sounds like you’re worried that none of the boys at school have said that they fancy you. Just because boys haven’t said anything to you yet, it doesn’t mean that it will never happen. Not all boys will be brave enough to tell people if they really like someone. Perhaps there are boys who like you who have been too shy to say anything. You haven’t said if there is anyone at school that you fancy yourself. If there is, I wonder if you’ve ever thought about telling them first.
I can hear that you’re a bit jealous because your friend has lots of boys approaching her. It may be that you friend gets approached more often because she acts like she has more confidence. Calm confidence can be a really attractive quality and people are more likely to come over and talk to you if they feel you are friendly and approachable. Holding your head up high and smiling are a couple of things you could do to ‘act’ like you have confidence.

You mention that you feel ‘a little bit ugly’ because boys don’t fancy you and it makes me feel sad to hear that. It is important not to judge yourself by how other people treat you. You can still be a beautiful person with lots to offer, even if boys aren’t chatting you up at the moment. Perhaps you could start by finding one thing that you like about yourself. It could be your hair, your sense of humour, your excellent taste in music or super sports skills. Once you’ve made that start, you can begin to think of more things and develop a positive image of yourself. This will help to increase your self-esteem and confidence. There are some good ideas for doing this on the self-esteem page in the Explore section.

ChildLine counsellors could also help you by exploring your feelings and working together to find ways of building your confidence. You can contact them by calling 0800 1111 or by logging in for a 1-2-1 chat.  Lots of young people go through similar feelings to your own and you can read about them on the message boards. If you wanted to, you could write a message of your own inviting other young people to support you.

You have been really courageous writing to me about how you feel and I hope this has helped.

Take care,


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