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Asker

To Sam

my Relationship

i dont think my relationship is going in the righ direction everybody is crowding me and my boyfriend we dont like it and now there are rumors spreading that are not true and now we get bullied what shall we do
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Nobody has the right to bully another person or to spread rumours or untrue things. All bullying is wrong. It can happen to anyone and start for no reason at all. If someone is being bullied, it is not their fault.

Sometimes other people might join in with the bullying because they are scared of getting bullied themselves. It could be that they don’t want to be seen to stand out from the crowd. This doesn’t make it okay. It is never alright for anyone to take part in any kind of bullying.

You might want to consider talking to an adult that you trust who might be able to give you and your boyfriend some ideas and help to try and tackle the bullying. Sometimes you might need to tell someone about the bullying more than once until it becomes clear to the people who are bullying you that you are not going to give up or let them get away with it.

Bullying diaries can be a good way to evidence what is happening. In a bullying diary you write down what happens, when it happens, who does it and how it makes you feel. That way you can just hand the diary to the teacher and they can get a really clear picture of what’s going on and how it’s affecting you.

A mediated conversation is another idea. This is when someone like a teacher arranges a conversation between you and the people who are bullying you. The teacher could help you to all talk openly about what’s happened. The teacher can make sure that the conversation is fair and that everyone gets a chance to talk.

It’s always important to think about what feel right for you in a relationship. Nobody ever has the right to force or pressurise another person into doing anything that they don’t feel ready for.

If you don’t feel like your relationship is going in the right direction then you might want to think about talking to a counsellor a bit more about that and what it’s like for you.

I hope some of this helps.

Take care,
Sam       

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