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To Sam

My friend's suicidal

Dear Sam,

I'm really worried about my friend. She's cutting herself and recently she's suicidal. She has a notebook where she rights and draws abouthow she wants to kill herself and how she wishes she had never been born. She showed me the notebook, and also her cuts. When we were leaving school today, she said something like 'You probably won't see me tomorrow, depending on whether mu parents are in.'

I don't know why she feels the way she does. I feel sick every time I think of her killing herself, but I need so desperately to know how to help her. I don't know whether she's serious about killing herself, but I don't want to risk it.

I want to tell someone, but there's no one I know who can help her. I don't know her parents, it's not something I can talk to my parents about or the teachers at school. I few months ago I had a low patch where I cut myself a few times, but it never got as bad as she is now. I know how it feels to feel really low and hate yourself, that's why I want to help her.

Please help me.

Ask Sam


Thank you for your very honest letter. It sounds like you are going through a tough time right now and may be feeling confused about what you can do for your friend. I would like to start by saying that you sound like a wonderful friend and she is lucky to have such a caring person in her life. Even if you may feel you aren’t actually doing anything, just being there and caring about her can help a great deal. 

It can be really hard to carry so much worry on your shoulders alone. Your friend is clearly going through something that she's finding very hard to cope with. It sounds like she really needs some help and support. It’s great that you are thinking about options in terms of who may be best to help her. I realise it could be a very difficult conversation to have, but talking to your parents about your worries might be a good start. Do you think they could contact her parents and let them know she is feeling so low? Another option you mentioned is talking to your teachers. They could be great people to talk to, because they'd know a lot more about the professionals who could help and support your friend to cope with what she is going through. Perhaps you can give that some thought.

It sounds like you've gone through a tough patch too and while you say that it’s not as bad as your friend, you absolutely deserve to have some support. Again, teachers could be a really good starting point when you are thinking about where you can get help. You can also check out Young Minds for some more support and advice or you can also always come and talk to one of our counselors at Childline on 0800 1111 or by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat. The counsellors are here for you – but also for your friend if she needs to talk.

I hope this was helpful – just remember you do not have to go through this all on your own. There is help out there for you and your friend.

Take care,


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