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To Sam

My friends keep putting me down

Hi Sam,

Hi! So I'm in year 9 at school and I've had the same best friend since year 7. Her name is *** and she is so funny! She is so similar to me in so many ways, like we both have the same sense of humour and we're both into the same stuff like gaming and youtube. She has her downsides which I can cope with like her being quite bossy and very very sensitive. But she keeps putting me down. For example she said I looked really fat when we went swimming and that I should straighten my hair because it looks gross and that my skin is terrible. I reallt enjoy her company most of the time but she just keeps putting me down and my self esteem is rapidly decreasing. What do you think I should do?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

When a friend is being mean to you, it can really affect your confidence and how you feel about yourself. But there are ways to get support.

A good friendship is when someone doesn’t say things to upset you on purpose or put you down. You have the right to say how you feel and be treated with care and respect by everyone.

If someone says something nasty about you, it always says more about them than you. Sometimes when people feel insecure they try to take the attention away from themselves by criticising someone else.

It can be hard to know what to do when there’s a problem with a close friend. It can be a good idea to think of a way to let your friend know how she’s making you feel. Writing down what you’d like to say could help you to feel more prepared. You could write down how you feel after she’s said things to you.

Being assertive can help you say how you feel and stand up for yourself without being rude. There are lots of tips on how to be assertive when you’re finding it difficult.

Childline counsellors are here to support you with anything that might be happening. Talking things through with a Childline counsellor can help you to work out what you’d like to do next and think about how you feel about your friendship.

Take care,


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