Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My boyfriends in prison

Hey Sam, i was just wondering if you can help me out with some emotional stuff im going through. Me and my boyfriend are going throuogh a really tough time because mine and his family hate us being together because im 15 and he is 19. Even though im 16 in 4 months im just worried for him because they found out that we have had sex and now he is in remand because he broke his bail conditions that where to stay away from me and not contact me, but obviously he did. i wanted to know ow long he could be in jail for and that i dont think its fair he is in jail because surely me being 16 in 4 months isnt that bad. is it? Please help me im struggling on how to cope with this.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It sounds like you’re feeling really worried about your boyfriend’s situation. And to add to this, you have to deal with the fact that both your parents don’t want you to be in this relationship at all. It can be really hard when something that matters a lot to us causes problems for others. But there are ways you can get support.

In the UK, you can legally have sex from the age of 16. This is called the age of consent. And even though you feel like you’re really close to this age, because you’re not 16 it’s still illegal. It’s important to remember that the law isn’t there to punish you - it’s there to protect you. Even though it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Sometimes when our parents are looking out for us, we don’t see it that way. Parents might not want their children to be together because they don’t feel the situation is right for those involved. I can’t say how long your boyfriend could face in jail - this is up to the judge at his court hearing.

When someone does something against the law, it’s likely they’ll be arrested if they’re caught, and sometimes given bail. Their bail is based on trust and comes with a set of conditions. If any of these conditions are broken, there are consequences. This can make things very difficult to deal with for everyone, and it’s completely understandable that you might struggle with this. Perhaps there's an adult you trust who can answer your questions.

Remember that your feelings are important, and if you want to talk things through with someone you trust you can always talk to a Childline counsellor. They're here to listen and support you with whatever's on your mind.

Take care,


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