Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My boyfriend is controlling

My boyfriend says that he gonna get me pregnant and says my body is his and to make sure that i wont leave him hes gonna get me pregnant ive told him no but he wont listen 2 me and he gets really mad when i dont do what he wants me 2 he has a very bad temper i love him but im also scared at the same time i dont know what 2 do
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message.

It sounds like your boyfriend’s behaviour is really scaring you. You’ve said that he’s trying to force you to stay with him by saying he’ll get you pregnant. No-one has the right to try to control you in this way. When he says that your “body is his” he is wrong. You have the right to decide whether you want to have sex and if you want to become pregnant. It’s your body and your choice not his. If your boyfriend did try to force you into any sexual activity without your agreement then he would be committing a crime. It’s important that you know what he is doing is really wrong. It’s also important to know that it is not your fault.

You’ve said that your boyfriend has a bad temper and that he gets really mad when you don’t do what he wants you to do. You have the right to make a decision without being scared of his reaction. Relationships should contain trust and respect and you should both feel comfortable and safe.

I can hear that you love your boyfriend and it sounds like you are really mixed up about what to do. It can be tempting to be too forgiving when someone you love treats you badly. The reality is, your boyfriend’s behaviour is not OK. I am concerned that he may put your safety at risk if you stay with him.

Only you can decide whether you want to stay in this relationship and I can hear that that will be a tough decision. Sometimes it can really help to talk things over with another person. Perhaps you could think about speaking to a friend or someone you are close to in your family.

If you do decide to end the relationship, it would be a good idea to think about how you can stay safe while you are telling him. You might want to have someone else with you, or decide to tell him over the phone rather than face to face.

You don’t have to go through this alone. ChildLine counsellors are here if you want to talk. It would be really good if you could get in touch with them by calling the freephone helpline 0800 1111 or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat. If you ever feel like you are in immediate danger, the fastest way to get help is to call 999.

There are also some great websites about healthy and unhealthy relationships. You could start by reading the Sex and relationships pages in Explore. I’d also recommend looking at This Is Abuse and The Hide Out.

Take care.


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