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To Sam

My boyfriend has just joined the army

Hi, my boyfriend has recently just started his phase 1 training for the army. He literally just started yesterday and i am struggling to cope with the fact he isnt here with me and i am struggling to sleep at night. He is gone for 14 weeks but gets to come home for the weekend on the 8th week. We are so serious about eachother, even planning to marry soon. but do you have any advice on how to make it feel more like he's here with me? What can i do to ease the sadness and loneliness at night? it really sucks not having him here to cuddle. any advice? thank you

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Being apart from people you care about is very difficult, especially if you’re used to seeing them a lot. There are a few things you can do to keep in touch with your boyfriend, and that can make you feel better about the distance.

When you can't be with someone, sometimes the next best thing can be talking on the phone or online. Keeping in touch via video call is a great way to feel closer to someone. Being able to see and hear someone can make a big difference if you're physically apart. If you can't use video then a phone call can be just as good.

Try to schedule in regular times to speak with each other. Having a set time not only makes sure you’re staying in touch with each other, but also gives you something to look forward to. Having something you're excited about can boost your mood and keep you from feeling down about not being together. Your boyfriend's time might be quite limited if he’s in the army, so try to work around his schedule if you can.

It can also help to have physical objects that remind you of the people you're missing. If you have a gift they’ve given you or something that belongs to them like a teddy or even something like a jumper, it can make you feel closer to them.

I hope this has helped, if you feel like you want to talk more then Childline counsellors are here for you. Childline also has lots of advice about relationships, and you can also use the message boards for support from other young people, and to find out how they’re coping with being apart from loved ones.

Take care.


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