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my boyfriend doesn't want me to tell

my boyfriend got me pregnant at 14, and i am freaking out and want to tell my mum for help about an abortion but my boyfriend thinks i can do it on my own and doesnt want me to tell anyone because he is worried his mum will make him move schools and quit rugby because he plays for wales and he says 'if you tell i wil never see you again. my parents wouldnt allow it '. but i want to tell my mum
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter. I’m so pleased you could tell me about this.

Being pregnant can feel scary and it can be really helpful to talk things through with someone you trust. It sounds like your mum feels like the right person for you to talk to, and if that’s how you feel then you can and should talk to her – it’s your choice.

I can hear that your boyfriend is trying to stop you talking to your mum and he shouldn’t be doing this. You mentioned him saying you wouldn’t see him again if you tell mum - this is emotional blackmail and it’s wrong of him to say this to you. I can hear that he is worried about the consequences but it’s important that he gets his own support to cope with that rather than this affecting you and any decisions you make.

You deserve both emotional and medical support and it’s important you have access to all the available options. You might want to look at our pages on Pregnancy and Abortion, as well as the Brook website. Maybe you could look at these website pages with mum, or you may prefer to look by yourself to begin with.

The next step would be to make an appointment with your doctor or visit a Health or Family Planning Clinic, to access the medical support you need.

You may still be feeling a little unsure about what you should do or you may want to talk some more about how this situation is making you feel. Remember, you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor by phoning for free on 0800 1111, or by logging on for a 1-2-1 online chat. The counsellors at ChildLine are there to listen and support you and you can talk to them about absolutely anything.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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