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To Sam

My BFF told some girls to bully me and it succeeded

I'm upset because some girls at school were bullying me. I told a teacher and it's fine now but today I found from one of the girls that my best friend had made her do it. A few days ago I heard from another girl that was bullying me the same story I'm mad at my best friend (I haven't spoken to her yet though) but how do I keep it in? How do I stay best friends with her. 2 people have told me this now I really believe it (1 of them is my other best friend now) so it's defiantly true. Help please I was so upset when I heard this. What shall I do?

Thanks

Ask Sam

Sam

Hello,

Thank you for your letter. It's really brave of you to speak out about bullying.

It can be very upsetting to experience any form of bullying - and it can be especially hurtful when a friend has been involved. No one ever has the right to bully another person and you don’t deserve for this to be happening to you.

It’s natural that hearing this information could make you think about your friendship. Friendships should be supportive and they should let both people feel able to express feelings and be heard.

I can imagine it’s tough to keep something like this inside. It might be an idea to think about how this person may respond if you shared with them what you’ve been told and also how it’s left you feeling. I think it would be important to give your friend a chance to explain and to tell you if what you’ve heard is true or not.

Friendships can have their ups and downs, but the downs should never feel like you are being bullied. It might also help to think about what values are important to you in your friendships and what response you might be hoping for if you did talk to your friend.

There is more on our bullying page about how to cope.

No matter what you decide to do, you could talk this through some more with a ChildLine counsellor if you wanted.

Take care,

Sam

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