Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Hi there,
Thank you for getting in touch, I can see that you are feeling really worried about your friend, and that you care about her a lot. Self-harm can be a way to cope with feelings that are too painful or difficult to let out in other ways. For many people who self-harm it is a very private thing and can be really hard to talk about. It sounds like your friend trusts you a lot to be able to talk to you about how she is feeling. Supporting someone who is feeling depressed or who has suicidal thoughts can be really difficult, and I hope that you find time to look after yourself as well as your friend.
I understand that you want to know what you can say to your friend to make it better for her, but Im afraid that there arent any magic words. You can listen to her, be there for her, and encourage her to get some help and support from an adult that she trusts. You could also try to get her to talk to one of our counsellors here at ChildLine. ChildLine counsellors would listen to her, and help her to work out where these feelings come from, as well as helping her come up with some ideas to keep her safe. You can call them on 0800 1111 or log on for a 1-2-1 chat.
You could tell her that ChildLine is confidential, and often when people talk to us about feeling depressed, self-harming, or wanting to die, we are able to keep that just between that person and ChildLine. Sometimes though, if we are really worried about that person, and we think that their life could be in danger, then we might have to tell someone else about what is happening. There is more information about the things that we can and cant keep confidential on the confidentiality page.
Remember that whatever your friend feels or does is ultimately her responsibility, not yours. It can be quite a difficult decision to make, but if you think that she needs urgent help to keep safe, then please talk to an adult that you trust. If its an emergency you can call 999 and ask them to make sure that she is safe.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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