Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my best friend has suicidal thoughts

im sure you have alot of other people to answer to and i 100 percent understand if you dont answer me but i really need help, my best friend is quite depressed a lot. she self harms and allways tells me she doesnt want to stay in the world and its so hard to hear that from someone you love so dearly and not know what to say she always tells me nobody loves her but sam i love her! i just really want to know how i can help her, what to say when she tells me she doesnt want to live and most of all i would really like to know how to stop her before she leaves me forever please help me and answer not just for my sake but for anyone in the same situation as me reading this and is too afraid to say xxx
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for getting in touch, I can see that you are feeling really worried about your friend, and that you care about her a lot. Self-harm can be a way to cope with feelings that are too painful or difficult to let out in other ways. For many people who self-harm it is a very private thing and can be really hard to talk about. It sounds like your friend trusts you a lot to be able to talk to you about how she is feeling. Supporting someone who is feeling depressed or who has suicidal thoughts can be really difficult, and I hope that you find time to look after yourself as well as your friend.

I understand that you want to know what you can say to your friend to make it better for her, but I’m afraid that there aren’t any magic words. You can listen to her, be there for her, and encourage her to get some help and support from an adult that she trusts. You could also try to get her to talk to one of our counsellors here at ChildLine. ChildLine counsellors would listen to her, and help her to work out where these feelings come from, as well as helping her come up with some ideas to keep her safe. You can call them on 0800 1111 or log on for a 1-2-1 chat.

You could tell her that ChildLine is confidential, and often when people talk to us about feeling depressed, self-harming, or wanting to die, we are able to keep that just between that person and ChildLine. Sometimes though, if we are really worried about that person, and we think that their life could be in danger, then we might have to tell someone else about what is happening. There is more information about the things that we can and can’t keep confidential on the confidentiality page.

Remember that whatever your friend feels or does is ultimately her responsibility, not yours. It can be quite a difficult decision to make, but if you think that she needs urgent help to keep safe, then please talk to an adult that you trust. If it’s an emergency you can call 999 and ask them to make sure that she is safe.

Take care,


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