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To Sam

Mum's Pregnant

Hello, My name is A*, I'm 13. Recently, my mum has broken up with her boyfriend, I don't recall how long they have been together but around 6 months. She seemed pretty depressed about it...Later that week she took a pregnacy test, it said 3 weeks plus. She went to her doctor who said it could be up to seven weeks. Mum cannot afford another child, so she has to get rid of it while it's still growing. She's really sad and gets really mad all the time now. This isn't her fault. I want to tell her it's all ok but it's not. She's started being extremly horrible to my younger brother, and hasn't told many people about the fact that she's pregnant not even her own mother. Please, help me out, tell me what to do about my mum. I'm worried sick...
~ A*
Ask Sam


Hello A*,

Thanks for your letter telling me about your mum and the worries you have about her.

From what you have told me it feels like mum has involved you in some of what’s going on for her and that you are finding it hard to cope with the information you have. You also explained that mum is being extremely horrible to your younger brother and I am concerned to hear this. It sounds like you have a good understanding of what is going on for mum. It can be hard for someone in her situation and sometimes they do not act the way they normally do: just in the way you describe.

When we see a change in the way people we know behave, we want to help to get back to the way they were. Sometimes, they may need a little space to think things through and understand what is going on. This can make life difficult for those living with them, who then can feel scared or worried.

It can be difficult trying to work out someone else’s situation and what you can do to help so it’s understandable that you feel worried and unsure what to do. It feels like you would really like someone to take all this responsibility off your shoulders. Often talking to someone about concerns and worries can help, so talking to mum and explaining how you are feeling might help if you feel able to do this.

It might be that you feel unable to talk to mum and in that case, perhaps there is an adult you trust who you could share this information with, or perhaps you might like to talk things through to a counsellor at ChildLine by phoning them free on 0800 1111, chatting on 1-2-1 or by sending them an email. You can find out more about their confidentiality promise on their website. You might also like to check out the message boards, to see how other people might be coping in a similar situation.

Take care,


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