Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Hello there,
Well done for contacting me and for sharing whats happening for you just now.
It can be difficult when people that we care about change in ways that we dont like. From what youve said, you feel that your three friends now only wants to talk about clothes and boys, and have started being mean to other people. I can hear that you feel you have to choose between changing to be more like them, or not being friends at all.
Having people in our lives we care about is really important, but so is being yourself. You shouldnt have to change who you are in order to fit in with others. If these girls are good friends who care about you then they should respect your choices and let you be yourself.
You havent mentioned in your letter if youve spoken to your friends about how you feel about the way theyre acting now. It might be an idea to explain your feelings to all of them, or just with the one or two you feel would be most willing to listen. It may be that they dont expect you to change to be like them, and that you may be able to remain friends without having to compromise who you are.
If they dont want to listen to you, you might decide that youd prefer to start spending less time with them. Its natural for friendships to change over time, as you all develop and grow as people. Perhaps you could try spending more time with other friends, to see whether any of them feel more like you do.
If it would help, it might be an idea to have a look at our message boards. There is a lot of great information on there from other young people who have shared their own experiences. You can post your own thoughts, as well as reading and replying to others.
You can also talk to one of the ChildLine counsellors anytime, either by calling free on 0800 1111, or by having a 1-2-1 chat (which works like instant messenger) or by sending an email.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.