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To Sam

Lost Love

Hi Sam,

Last year I finally got together with my crush and I hadn't been happier, we had a great time he was basically a best friend I could hold hands with. Then in January this year he dumped me because he "didn't like me in that way anymore", still after so long I still have feelings for him and it's getting me down. I've tried really hard to get over him like hang out with friends and not thinking about him, it never works. Please help?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It sounds like you are feeling really upset about your boyfriend breaking up with you and you are finding it hard to stop thinking about him. It can be really difficult when a relationship comes to an end, especially if you didn’t want the break up to happen. It sounds like you miss him a lot and this is only natural when you have been so close to someone.

I can hear that you are trying really hard to distract yourself from thinking about him but you feel that is not really working. It’s really good that you are trying to move on with your life and lots of young people tell me that it can take time to get over someone and gradually it can get easier.

You tell me that you are trying to distract yourself by hanging out with friends. It’s good to hear that you’ve got friends around who can help to support you. I’m wondering if there are other things you could do when you’re on your own. Sometimes it can be harder to keep your mind off things when no one else is there. There are lots of different things you could try - reading, drawing, listening to music, playing computer games, learning a language, watching a good film; whatever will keep you interested!

Going through a break-up can be very painful and whilst distracting yourself from thinking about him can be useful, you may also want to express the feelings you are having about the break-up. Some young people find it helps to talk to friends or family about their feelings or to write them down. You could also come and talk to a ChildLine counsellor about how you are feeling. You can call us on 0800 1111 or log in for a 1-2-1 chat.

You may also find it helpful to look on the message boards, this is a place where young people can share their feelings and other young people can respond with advice and support.  You may find it helpful to look at the Relationships message board. You could also post your own thread and get advice from other young people.

Take care,


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