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To Sam

long distance

there is this boy i really like and he likes me back but he lives in england i live in ireland but we do see eachother in summer and im thinking what if we will stop seeing eachother im thinking he will break up with me what should i do ?
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Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

When you meet someone and really like them it can be tough if you don’t live in the same country. Making the decision whether you stay together or not can be a hard one, so it’s important that you are honest and that you talk to each other about how it’s working out for you.

A long-distance relationship can work, but it relies on both of you being able to put the effort in. As much as talking is important, it also really helps to spend time hanging out with each other to be able to get to know each other properly and to understand each other’s lives. Some people are okay with not seeing each other for a long time but others find that too difficult and may not want to do it, no matter how much they like the person.

I suggest that you tell this boy how you feel, that you’re worried about what could happen if you don’t see each other. You could also ask him what he thinks you can do. You say you see him in the summer so if possible could you talk to your family about whether you can see him more often. It may be that you are not able to be in a relationship now, but it might be something you can do when you’re older and able to travel by yourselves to see each other.

It might help to look at what other young people are saying about this on the Relationship message boards.

You’re doing the right thing talking about this. You can also talk to a ChildLine counsellor about this by sending an email, calling on 0800 1111 or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat.

I hope this helps as a start.

Take care,
Sam

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