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Asker

To Sam

Living on different continents

I met one of my best friends on tumblr, and we have become really close. We talked a lot on tumblr for a while then we added eachother on facebook and talked even more. Now we Skype all the time and I started noticing this strange little feeling I get when I talk to him. I think I fell in love with him. When we talk we don't talk like normal friends, we talk as if we are a couple. With hearts, things about cuddles etc. In a year or two I plan to go see him in his country, and I can't wait. But over the last few days he hasn't been talking to me. I snapchat, I've Skype messaged, but I dont get a reply. It isn't like him to do that. I kind of feel like this whole being friends with him might have been a bad idea. Should I stay or should I go?
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi,

Thanks for your letter and well done for getting in touch. I can hear that having no replies from your online friend for a few days has been really confusing and frustrating for you, leaving you unsure of what to do next. It sounds like you’ve invested a lot in this friendship. You’ve also told me that you’ve started to feel more for this person than you first expected to.

Being patient in an online relationship can be difficult - waiting for a response from someone can make you feel anxious. There could be many reasons why someone is not around to contact their online friends for a few days. For example, a last minute family holiday or an event that is taking up all of his time. It sounds as though this has been unusual in your relationship so far.

It’s important to remember that having time out from friends and boyfriend/girlfriends is healthy and there should always be room in any relationship for each of you to do your own thing. You might want to consider what you could do to distract yourself at the moment like spending time on your hobbies or making time for important people in your life - this could be your friends or family. You might want to think about meeting up with them so that you have things to look forward to.

It seems like not hearing from him over the last few days has felt like a big loss for you. Long distant relationships require a lot of effort, understanding and trust. You might want to consider being honest about how you feel, if you do talk to him again.

You’ve asked whether you should stay or go. It’s always up to you to decide what feels right for you.

Remember you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor anytime though 1-2-1 chat or by calling free on 0800 1111. That way you can discuss your feelings and discuss your options. Sometimes talking about things can help you to decide what you want to do next.

As you have told me that you use your computer a lot I thought it could be good to tell you about the Online Safety section on the ChildLine website where there is helpful information for people who use the internet to communicate like you.

I hope this helps,

Sam

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