Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hi, sam, i wanted to know how jealousy is formed and what can cause it, because i have a friend that gets jealous when im with my bestfriend and i dont know what to do about it. Because she is both of our bestfriends and if im woth her she gets jealous, so could i have advice because i dont know what to do about it. Please help me.!
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Jealousy is an emotion. It can mean wanting to keep something you have, sometimes to the point of being anxious, worried or afraid of losing it. If jealousy gets out of control, it can take over your life and affect your friendships and relationships.

It sounds like your friend could be jealous of you spending time with your other friend because she wants to be with her too. She may want to keep that friendship to herself, and is worried about losing it. She might think that she’s missing out when the friend spends time with you or that the friend prefers you to her. 

As it’s your friend who is jealous, it’s difficult for you to do anything about it, because only she can manage and control how she feels. Perhaps you could talk to her about it, to help her to see that you spending time with the other friend isn’t a threat. You could try to reassure her about the friendship and that it’s okay for people to have more than one friend.

If you'd like more support on this, then you could contact a counsellor at ChildLine to talk things through in more detail. You could also have a look on the message boards to see how other people are coping in a similar situation.

Take care for now,

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