Ask Sam letter

Hi A,

It’s good to hear from you I’m glad you’ve got in touch.

Sounds like you’ve got some really strong feelings for you girlfriend and that you care a lot about your relationship. Feeling jealous can be natural when people care but it is how people act when they feel this way that can make feeling jealous a bad thing.

Giving each other freedom and having trust are really important parts of relationships but I feel talking is also really important. It might be a good idea to talk these feelings over with you girlfriend. Between you, you might be able to work out how best you can deal with the feelings you have about her talking to other lads.

Relationships can be difficult sometimes and have ups and downs. There is lots of information on the ChildLine message boards about relationships, and you might find that other young people on there have some more advice about managing your feelings of jealousy. You ask me if it is right for you to get jealous but at the same time that you trust her. These conflicting feelings can be hard to deal with particularly if they keep happening and are strong. It can be helpful to ask ourselves what are we are jealous about. Some young people find it good to talk to someone they know about these feelings for some it might be their girlfriend for others a friend.

If you wanted to talk feeling like this over you can get in touch with a ChildLine counsellor through our Talk page, they might also have some ideas about what might help. You might also find it helpful to look at our jealousy page to find out how it can affect the way we think and act, there is a special section on jealousy for boyfriends and girlfriends.

You’ve done well to get in touch and I hope this helps.

Take care,

Sam