Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I've fallen in love for the first time, but i fear it's not recipricated.

Everybody says he likes me, but he is soooooo attractive and i'm a 21 stone ugly goth. I'm so overweight and out of proportion and just ugly.
But he always compliments me and flirts with me. All his friends says he likes me, but he's just left a size 6 blonde girl, so does he like me, or is it all in my head?
Can you love someone ugly?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s normal to worry about the way you look as you are growing up. There can be a lot of pressure to be a certain way, to fit in and to be perfect as people are often shown this way on TV and in magazines. 

The first thing you will see if you really look around is that people are all different.  I want you to know that it’s okay to be yourself, even if that means being different from other people.  An important part in being yourself is building up your confidence and self-esteem so that you can feel happy with who you are. We have some hints and tips which might help you with building confidence and self-esteem.

Trying to be something different can make you feel bad about yourself. You might like to check out our message boards to see how other people are coping with the way they look.

Liking someone is not all about looks and body image - it’s about many other things like personality, temperament and attitude too. You said that the boy you like compliments you and flirts with you. You also said that his friends have told you that he likes you, so it sounds like he has seen something in you that he likes and finds attractive. You said you find him very attractive too and I’m wondering what it is about him that you like. If the two of you both like each other and find each other attractive then it could be that you will get on well and enjoy being together.

Accepting what I’ve said to you might be a hard thing to do straight away and it may take some time to start believing in yourself.  It could be that you would like to talk it through some more with someone in your life that you trust, like a family member or friend. 

You could also contact a counsellor at Childline who can help you explore your feelings in more detail.

Take care for now.

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