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To Sam

it just feels hopeless

Hi, um..i'm writing this because it sometimes helps to talk about it, i basically have been feeling for most of my life now that im not good enough in anyway to find anyone who will love me. it just tears away at me sometimes, i just feel so worthless and, it just feels like there is not point trying anymore...and...i guess i thought writing this might help..
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Sam

Hello,

Thank you for your letter.

It sounds as though these feelings of hopelessness can be very difficult for you and are beginning to have an impact on your life. You feel as though there’s no point in trying anymore but things can get better. You are not worthless and there are people who care about you. Writing your letter is a positive first step and I’m so glad that you had the courage to contact me.

Talking about what could be behind these feelings could help you understand and overcome this very strong sense of hopelessness. Hope and hopelessness are often about the future but sometimes looking at experiences from your past can help you understand why you feel like this. When you start to feel low, some people find it helpful to imagine a time when they felt happier or more positive.

Thinking that you may never find someone that will love you is a very powerful feeling and if you’ve been hurt in the past it can be even harder to trust new people or even imagine that you will ever meet someone else and have a happy future.

When we really like someone and they don’t like us back or if a relationship has come to an end, one of the first things we can think is that there’s something wrong with us – and we start to question ourselves and the way that other people see us. If you think the same negative thoughts about yourself over and over you can start to believe that they’re true, even though they are not. It can take time to challenge them and begin to think differently and see yourself in a more positive way. Nearly everyone worries from time to time about what other people think of them or if they will be liked by other people.

You said that sometimes it helps to talk and it sounds like there are people around you that have some understanding of how you feel but that it could be difficult to do this sometimes. We need friends who love us and care about us especially when we’re feeling low. 

ChildLine counsellors are here to listen and support you. If you feel like you want to talk to somebody, why not call us free on 0800 1111? Calls are confidential and won't show up the phone bill.  You can also have a 1-2-1 chat (which is a bit like instant messenger) or send an email.

Take care,

Sam

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