Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Is it okay?

Hey, I am A* I am nearly 13, I am in year 8.
I like this boy. He is Year 9 he is 14 and he is 15 in november.
we are I think 18 months apart. I am worried to tell my mum about the age gap because she will be angry because i am only 12.
If i dont get this guy because i am fat well I think I am
I have never had a boyfriend, Can I get help about getting a boyfriend because I feel fat and After being bullied for 3 years I am very nervous about talking to people. Thank you! x
Ask Sam



It can be both really exciting and scary getting your first boyfriend or girlfriend.  It can be exciting because you are with someone that you like and want to know better. It can be scary because there are doubts about what he/she thinks or feels. It's also normal to feel insecure about how you look or feel scared of being rejected.

What really matters is that if you both like each other and get on well, you can build up your confidence and self-esteem as you get to know each other.

In relationships it's not unusual for there to be an age gap and 18 months is not a huge age difference. It's only one school year. Perhaps it would be good to mention to your mum that there is a boy you like who is in year 9 to check out her reactions. You feel that your mum will be angry, but she might react positively about it.

It’s difficult to give people advice about getting a boyfriend or girlfriend because its different for everyone, some people have relationships from an early age and other people have their first relationship when they are an adult. For some people, a friendship can turn into a relationship. Perhaps as a starting point it might be good to check out our page about making friends and also the relationship pages where you can find advice on how to tell someone that you like them.

Bullying can affect people in many ways. It can really knock their confidence and self- esteem. This can make people feel self-conscious about themselves and nervous around other people. There are some ideas on the ChildLine website about building confidence and self esteem that you might like to try.

If you would like to talk about any of these things in more detail, you could contact a counsellor at ChildLine who would listen and support you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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