well, i'm a girl and i'm i love with a girl, i was really scared and still am but not as much but anyway a couple of days ago me and my bff were talking about it and we came up with a plan of how i was going to tell her. i told her but over txt and all she said was that she didnt feel the same way. so i'm seeing her in a few weeks, how should i act around her, should i talk about or not say anything. what should i do?????
Sam
Hi there,
Thanks for sending in your letter. Youve done really well in expressing how you feel about whats been happening for you. I can hear that youve been feeling scared, but I want you to know that its normal and OK to be attracted to another girl. Its good that you have support from your friend and I think youve been really brave to be honest with this girl about your feelings.
You said that you contacted her by text and that shes told you she doesnt feel the same way. I imagine that was disappointing for you, but at least now you know where you stand with her. Telling someone that youre attracted to them always involves taking a bit of a risk but you did well to talk to this girl. You deserve to be with someone who likes you as much as you like them. Speaking up when you do find someone that you like is the best way to make that happen!
I can hear that youre nervous about how to act with this girl next time you see her. It might be that she feels a bit unsure about what to say and do too. It could feel a bit awkward at first, but if youre both mature about it, it doesnt mean you cant still be mates. If you show that youre relaxed with her and that youre OK about whats happened, then hopefully that will make it easier for her to be the same. You could try planning in advance what you want to say if she mentions the text, so that you dont get taken by surprise.
Unfortunately some young people can react badly to being asked out by someone whos the same sex as them. It doesnt sound like thats the case with this girl, but its worth remembering that if someone ever did react that way, it doesnt mean for a minute that there is anything wrong with you. Often that kind of reaction will be caused by things that are totally out of your control, such as that persons family being prejudiced about people who have a different sexual orientation from their own.
If you want a bit more support, you could always check out the Explore page on Sexual orientation or post a message on the message boards asking how other young people would deal with your situation. The Young Stonewall website has got a lot of information about being lesbian, gay or bisexual that you might find useful. Remember, you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor you can give them a call on 0800 1111, log in for a 1-2-1 chat or send them an email.
Take care,
Sam
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