Hello Sam! A couple of weeks ago me and my boyfriend J* found out i was expecting a baby. Im only 14. To make sure the test was accurate we both attended a doctors appointment to be sure, and i am pregnant. My mum doesnt even know i was seeing J*, we've been on and off for around 9 months, J* was unsure about being a father at first but likes the idea now, hes 16! Telling my mum will be so hard and scary, i dont know how to do it as were not close at all! Abortion is out of the window as me and J* are against it. Also adoption will be too hard for us. What shall i do to prepare and also im 17weeks pregnant!
Sam
Hi there,
Thanks for your letter. Finding out that you're pregnant can bring up lots of different thoughts and feelings about the future.
I'm really glad to hear that you've felt able to go to the doctor about your pregnancy and that you've felt supported your boyfriend. Seeing a doctor if you have found out that youre pregnant or even if you only think you might be is very important. Its also important to be supported. This can be by the doctor, your family, your boyfriend or anyone you trust and feel safe with. Sometimes when you're alone and not sure what to do it can feel like a big step to let anyone in, but our page on asking an adult for help can make this easier.
There's no right or wrong way to talk to your mum about what's happening. Even though you feel like you're not close it's important to remember that you know her much better than other people could. It can help with the scariness sometimes to plan out exactly what you'd like to say, even practicing it with J* or in the mirror. Sometimes it can help to write it out as a letter, either to help you practice or as a way of telling your mum when you're not there.
It can be good as well to think about when the best time to tell your mum would be. Make sure it's at a time when you both feel as relaxed as possible and there aren't other things that would pull either of you away from the conversation.
Whatever you decide to do with your pregnancy, it is always your choice. Whether you decide to have an abortion, consider adoption or continue with the pregnancy - you have the right to decide. Sometimes when you're worried about how someone like your mum might react to the pregnancy it can make it hard even knowing where to start.
You asked how you can prepare for having a baby. There's lots of information out there about what you should do to help make sure you stay safe and healthy whilst you are pregnant. A good place to start is on our page about pregnancy. If you still want more advice then Brook can help you. It is so good that youve been to the doctor, its important to remember to go to any appointments with the midwife as well.
No matter what happens, ChildLine is always there to support you. You can speak to one of our counsellors online through a 1-2-1 chat or by sending an email. You can also call to talk things through with a counsellor for free on 0800 1111.
Take care, Sam
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