Ask Sam letter

Hi there and thanks for your message,

I can hear that you are really worried about your friend and that you want to help him - you sound like a really good friend.

It sounds like even though your friend feels like he is satisfied with his life, you don’t feel so sure this is true. I’m wondering what makes you feel that way - it sounds like perhaps it’s difficult for you to hear that he doesn’t feel loved. When someone we care about talks that way, it can be hard to understand and can make us want to try and “fix” things. I can hear how it doesn’t seem to make sense that he is satisfied yet also feels unloved but sometimes people need to feel ready to talk about things. Maybe this means he is not ready to talk about it.

It seems to me like being a great friend is a wonderful way to show him that there is love in this world and maybe that’s enough for him right now. It’s easy to underestimate how special it can be to have a friend who cares about you and wants the best for you. Even just being there can show him that there are people that care for him. Remember that you are an important part of his life too and that your friendship in itself is very valuable.

If your friend does need to talk about how he is feeling he can always talk to a counsellor at ChildLine by calling 0800 1111 or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by sending an email – and this goes for you as well. Perhaps you could also check out our message boards and ask other young people what they think about this.

Take care,

Sam