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To Sam

I slept with my best mates girlfriend, what do I do

hi, Ive done something really bad & I dont know what to do about it. I was at a party last weekend but all I remember from it is having sexual intercourse with my best mates girlfriend. I dont know what to do about it, I cant even remember if we used protection. any advice?!

Ask Sam


H there

Nobody is perfect but sometimes we can make mistakes that we really regret. Forgiving ourselves is hard but is often the first step to getting past the mistake we made. There might be consequences to things we’ve done, so it’s important to be prepared for that too.

Letting a friend down can be a horrible feeling, remember that nobody is perfect. We will all make mistakes and it’s good to remember this when you do something wrong. The first thing you may need to do is admit to yourself what you have done, and then come to terms with it. Once you’ve done this you can start to think about mending relationships with other people.

Communication may be hard in circumstances like this but because you don’t remember anything, talking to your best mate’s girlfriend may be the only way to find out exactly what happened. Once you have a clearer picture you can then decide what it is you are going to say to the other people involved in this and what support you may all need.

You have to choose whether or not you’re going to say anything. I can’t tell you what to do here because this is your decision to make. One piece of advice I can give though is that you may find it difficult to keep this a secret and may end up destroying your friendship anyway.

Something that can seem fun at the time may have lasting consequences and can at times affect the relationships around you. Owning up to mistakes can often be the best chance you have of fixing things – but you might need to prepare yourself to lose your friendship, no matter what happens.

There are other things to think about as well. Contraception can help limit the possibilities of pregnancy and of sexually transmitted infections without knowing whether contraception has been used increases the possibilities of becoming pregnant or contacting an STI.

STIs can be embarrassing to talk about although it is an important conversation to have. If you are worried that you may have one you can talk to your doctor or a sexual health clinic that will be able to answer any questions. You can also talk to one of our counsellors who will listen, support and never judge you.

Take care


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