Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

It sounds like you were really shocked to see the advert with some people ‘doing it’, and from the title of your letter it looks like you mean having sex. I’m glad you decided to write to me.

If you see something online that makes you feel uncomfortable or seems wrong, it can sometimes help to tell an adult like a parent or carer. They might want to contact your internet service provider to talk about how to avoid this kind of content popping up on your computer. Some people find it easier to talk to someone outside their home or family, like a teacher.

You have told me that the image will haunt you forever and it could be a good idea to think about what you can do to take your mind off it. I hope that writing this letter to me might help you in some way too. You could try doing something you enjoy as a way to distract yourself. You don’t mention how long ago this happened and it may take a little while longer before you are able to think less and less about this. 

I can hear this is affecting your schoolwork so you might like to try talking to someone you trust about this. Some people find it can help to talk to their teacher, to let them know what’s making you struggle to concentrate at the moment and that it is having an effect on your schoolwork.

You can find some useful information about ways to keep yourself safe online on our Online and mobile safety page. It is important for you to remember that you have not done anything wrong. Many other young people find themselves in similar situations and they are unsure about what to do. Reading your letter will help them, too.

If you would like to talk more about how this is affecting you, our counsellors are always there to listen and support you. You can talk to a counsellor any time by phoning free on 0800 1111, by sending an email or by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Sam