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I really want a baby

Hi Sam, I’m only 15 but I really want a baby. Me and my boyfriend have only been together 5 months and we have spoken about this, he is more then happy to be a dad however feels we should wait till I am at least 16, I also feel this is a good idea however I am desperate for a baby. I understand how much a baby will affect my life and the thought of it really excites me. I live with my aunty and she has 3 kids of her own and I baby sit them all the time, I also have 2 sisters and 2 brothers so I have a lot of experience in looking after children. I just don’t no what to do, please help?
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Sam

Hi there,

I’m glad you felt able to share your problem with me - realising you need some support to make a decision is really mature.

Having a baby is a massive step to take so it’s great that you and your boyfriend have talked about it, and you’ve thought of how it will affect your life; you mentioned it excites you, but also acknowledge that you’re only 15 – I wonder if you feel you might be too young?

For some people bringing a life into the world is exciting, but often people also feel worry and fear, as it is a huge change and commitment - once you have a child you’ll be responsible to the child until they are at least 18.

It is great that you have experience of looking after children but having your own child can feel very different, you and your boyfriend will be responsible for that child’s safety and wellbeing all day, every day.

If you haven’t already it might be worth considering how you would financially support yourself and a baby, and whether your aunt would allow you to continue living with her – if not you might also have to find somewhere to live, and to furnish the place, as well as buying baby items.

It’s also worth considering how you would continue your education once you had a child to look after. It is possible to continue your education with a child but it does make it harder, you’ll have to think about child care too.

A final point to think about is how your relationship with your boyfriend might change once you have a child, you say you’ve only been together 5 months; often a child can put a strain on a relationship because there is someone else to consider.

All of the above might feel alright to you if you were to have the one child, but I am wondering how you would cope if you had twins or triplets - which is possible.

There is a lot to think about, and ultimately only you and your boyfriend can decide what is right for you both at this stage of your lives. Perhaps it would help to speak to a counsellor on the phone on 0800 1111 (calls are free), or login for a 1-2-1 chat; it’ll give you an opportunity to talk through what I’ve mentioned, and to explore your feelings.

Take care,

Sam

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