Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I like him..

so theres this guy, we like each other and were ready to date etc but there was one thing from stopping us..
The fact is, he's a muslim. At the age of 12 it is known that most muslims aren't able to date due to their religion but we really like each other and everyone thinks we suit.
He's asking his mum if he has permission but im not sure about the answer we will get..
i don't mind being friends but i get the feeling it would be better if we were more then friends :/
Ask Sam


Hi there,

I’m really glad that you’ve told me about this and I can hear how much this guy means to you. From what you’ve explained, at the moment, you’re not sure whether his mum is going to agree to the two of you dating.

It might be a good idea to talk to your friend about what you’ll do if his mum doesn’t agree, as well as what the two of you would like to do if she says yes.

I can hear that you will feel really disappointed if his mum says he’s not allowed to date you. It might seem tempting to try dating in secret, but that could cause lots of problems for you in the future. If the people in your life don’t know about your relationship, then they can’t be there to support you with any hard times. It is also likely to make it harder for the adults in your life to trust you both, if they feel you’ve been hiding things from them.

I noticed that you said that you don’t mind being friends. Being friends with your partner is an important part of dating so even if you’re not able to date now, it might help you to have a stronger relationship in the future.

It sounds like this guy’s religion will have a big effect on whether his mum is happy for him to date. Learning about people’s religion and culture can help you to understand more about the decisions somebody might make. There’s a website called Britkid, where you can find out more about lots of different religions and cultures. Perhaps you and the guy could take a look at it together. It is important to respect people’s differences and it can also be good to realise the things you have in common too. You could also have a look at the Relationships page in Explore for some more advice. How would it feel for you to talk together about his religion and what it means for him?

Whatever happens, I hope that you can carry on spending time getting to know each other and enjoying some happy times together.

Take care


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