Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I lied to all of my friends saying that i had a boyfriend. This was at the beginning of last year. The boy I had told everyone was my boyfriend has a sister who come to my school. Today, my friends went up to her and asked her how he was. She asked how they knew about him, and they said he was their friends (me) ex. She then asked who that was, and they said my name. My sister also goes to the school and loads of her friends know me. His sister is my sisters' best friend. And today, my sisters friend came up to me asking if it was true that me and him went out! i blush really easily when something bad happens, something funny happens and when i have done something embarrasing, and so obviously i blushed uncontrollably and they suspected things..

I dont know what to do. i cant bring myself to tell anyone that i had lied.. Please help me!

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. It sounds like this situation is really difficult for you at the moment. I get the sense that you regret what you did and wish you had never said it. While making things up can sometimes feel like an easy way to deal with feeling embarrassed, left out, insecure or even just bored, the truth often comes back in the end, and that can be even harder to deal with.

While it’s really important to be honest in friendships, we all make mistakes sometimes. From what you’ve told me, you weren’t expecting this lie to affect anyone other than yourself. Whilst this situation may feel horrible now, in time it should get easier for you to move past it.

People seem to be asking lots of awkward questions at the moment. It might be only a matter of time until people do find out for sure that you lied about having a boyfriend. Whilst I know that this might be a really scary thought for you, it sounds like it’s worth facing up to it and having a think in advance about what you can do to cope in this situation. What do you think it would be like to tell one or two of your closest friends the truth now, before they hear it from someone else? Talking about it now might give you more chance to choose how and where you tell them. Perhaps you could also try explaining what made you lie in the first place. I’m wondering what your relationship with your sister is like too. If you can’t talk to your friend, do you think you could tell your sister and ask for her support?

The counsellors at ChildLine can support you with how this feels and help you to think about your options. It would also be good to talk about what made you feel you wanted to lie about having a boyfriend? Perhaps the counsellor can help you start to feel better about who you really are, to help make you feel less like you need to lie again in the future. (You might find it interesting to read the Explore page about Buildling Confidence and Self-esteem). To talk to a counsellor, you can get in touch either over the phone by calling 0800 1111 or using our 1-2-1 chat.

Take care


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter