Ask Sam letter


To Sam

i feel sorry for my friend

dear sam

i have a friend called m*. she is sometimes getting bullied by her best friend and 3 boys. the one problem is one of the boys i have a crush on and i dont know what to do. i help m* all i can and stick with her at all times but i am worried that if i stick up for m* and more the three boys may turn on me. they havent yet and they are very good friends but i am just worried. also i care about my friend al ot so what should i do?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter telling me about how M* is getting bullied and the way you feel about it.

It can be hard supporting a friend through a difficult time and in your case it sounds like it’s harder because of the fact that you are friends with the boys who are bullying M*.  You find yourself being in the middle of a situation where you feel like you might have to choose which side to be on.

You say that you are helping M* all you can, sticking up for her at all times because you care about her. This sounds like a lot of effort for you to put into your friendship with her and it might be that you could put this energy into encouraging her to find ways of helping herself.

You could do this by encouraging her to talk to ChildLine so that they can support her. She can phone for free on 0800 1111, log in for a 1-2-1 chat or send an email. You could also encourage her to talk to a teacher, or other adult she trusts, about what is going on for her and you can also help just being there to listen. There is some information in Explore about Bullying that you might feel able to share with her. There is also some advice about Helping a friend who is bullied.

As I said earlier, it can be hard supporting a friend and I want you to know that ChildLine is here for you too. You can contact them at anytime. Support is also available from other young people on the message boards.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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