Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I fancy him

Hi Sam. There's this boy I like in school but his only new to that school. I don't know what to do cause I never fancy anyone before. I really want to ask him out but i am too shy. I don't know if he likes or think I'm pretty. But I REALLY like him. I'm scared that if I ask him out I will mess it up and make fun of my self. I really need your help. But the bad thing about him is that I don't know him e.g his name,what class,age,hobbies stuff like that and I don't even know if he knows me. I need your help Sam.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Fancying someone is always exciting – it brings lots of hope for a new friendship, getting to know what someone is like and sharing interests together. It can also be scary as you wonder if they like you!

I think you should first get to know this boy, as the basis of lots of relationship is a strong friendship. See if you have similar interests and hobbies, and whether you have any friends in common. You also need to find out if he is single.

Maybe next time you see him you could smile and say ‘hello’ then see if he does the same, which might then lead to a conversation. If you are unsure about trying that alone, then maybe you could try talking to him with your mates. The more friendly you seem the more likely it is he will talk to you.

Once you’ve gotten to know him maybe you could then invite him along when you and your friends next do something sociable, like watching a film, or hanging out in town. That way you don’t have to worry too much about awkward moments in the conversation. If you get on well with him in a group then you might decide to suggest doing something together, just the two of you.

If you do ask him out and it doesn’t go well, you might end up feeling embarrassed. Try to remember that you won’t feel that embarrassment forever, and that most people have had similar experiences.

If you have the time, maybe check out the message boards on relationships so you can see what other young people have done when they like someone – that might give you some more tips.

Also, I wonder if in the long run it might help to follow some of the suggestions on the Building confidence and self-esteem page if you want to work on not being as shy. You could also check out our top tips for making friends - you could use some of these ideas to approach the boy you fancy.

Take care, and all the best with speaking to this boy,

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