Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for writing to me. It sounds like you have been worrying a lot about your best friend leaving you. Friendships do change and sometimes people grow apart but that doesn’t make it OK to be rude. 8 years is a very long time to be friends so it’s not surprising that this feels worrying and upsetting for you.

I’m wondering what you would like to happen next? Would like to try to mend the friendship? If so, perhaps you could try asking to talk to her about it. It may be that she is not ready to talk at the moment, so you might want to think about how and when you approach her. You might need to give her some time to think about things for a while so that she doesn’t feel under pressure to talk right away. You could also try writing her a letter that she can read in her own time.

It might be that you decide that your friendship can’t be saved. If she is being really rude all the time, then that is not something you should have to put up with. It’s normal to argue with friends sometimes, but if it happens all the time then that might be a sign you’ve outgrown each other. You deserve to have good friends around you, who care about you and support you.

Whatever you decide, you might be feeling down about things right now. Maybe this is a good time to spend a bit more time with other friends or perhaps think about ways of making new ones. When we feel down it can help to do positive things which will take our mind off any problems. Are there any new hobbies you could try, or clubs to join? This might help you to feel better and let you make some new friends.

You are also always welcome to get in touch with the counsellors at ChildLine. Sometimes just telling someone how you feel and getting some support can make a big difference. They can also help you practice what you want to say if you get an opportunity to talk to your friend. You can contact them by calling 0800 1111 (it’s a free call), logging in for a 1-2-1 chat or sending an email.

Take care,

Sam