Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Hi Sam

Over the past few months I have been kinda confused on if I like boys or girls. I have been with boys before however bad things have happened. A few weeks ago I was sexually harasserd by a boy and it has made me think a lot more on who I like. I am really confused at the moment and could do with some help
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for writing to me.

You’ve done really well to talk about what happened and how it's left you feeling confused. You don’t mention how old you are but it's normal for young people to feel some confusion and to have questions around their sexual identity as they grow up. 

You have described being sexually harassed. It's really important for you to know that any kind of sexual harassment is wrong, and it’s understandable for that to have an impact on how you’re feeling now. You deserve support with what happened and I’m wondering if there are any adults you trust, like a family member or someone at school, who you feel you might feel comfortable telling about this? You might find it useful to read our new page on asking for some help.

A lot of young people find this is a helpful way of getting support and you have already taken an important first step by writing this letter to me. If you would like to have a confidential conversation about this, or any of the bad things that have happened with boys, you could contact a ChildLine counsellor online, on the phone, or by sending an email. It might also useful to have a look at the information about Sexual abuse

It sounds like you’ve been thinking about your sexuality for a while now. It isn’t unusual for young people to feel unsure about whether they are attracted to boys or girls. It’s also possible for these feelings to change over time. Some people are bisexual, which means they are attracted to both boys and girls. You can also read what other young people have said about how they feel on the Sexuality message boards. The message boards are good for share your feelings and thoughts without anyone knowing who you are. You can also read about the experiences of other young people who may have felt the same way you do.

I’m not sure whether you’ve spoken to anyone else about what’s on your mind. Sometimes thinking about things without talking to anyone can cause negative or stressful feelings to build up. Sharing with someone you trust can help you to see things more clearly. 

Thanks again for your letter and remember that you can always contact ChildLine to talk about this a bit more.


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