Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

hey

Hey sam, I know that you may not read this but if you are then thankyou, my girlfriend has broke up with me and I am feeling realy realy sad and depressed because I still love her but she goes on about 5 other boys who she thinks are better than me. I know it is realy lame but its realy hard to live life like normal now, I am 12 and have a few freinds so that keeps me happy but whenever I go to sleep and I think how I youst to txt her nonstop it feels realy bad
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there

Thank you for your letter and well done for writing in to get some support. It sounds like breaking up with your girlfriend has been really getting you down recently.

Splitting up with someone and losing that close relationship can be really difficult and is a big change to get used to. Although it’s hard, it’s also normal to feel sad about it.

It's important to remember that no matter how painful it is right now, it won’t always feel so bad. After some time it will get easier, even though that may feel hard to believe right now.

Although breakups are often difficult, it sounds like this is being made even harder for you because some of the things your ex has been saying are not nice. If she is deliberately telling you things like this to upset you, then this is bullying and it’s not okay. You might want to think about talking to a parent or a teacher or another adult at school for some support with this.

It’s good to hear that you have some friends who keep you happy - friends can be really important at times like this when you’re feeling down. They can be good people to talk to about how you’re feeling. Hopefully they can distract you and help you take your mind off things.

You say at night you think about how you used to text her all the time - it sounds like it’s feeling like a big hole in your life right now. Some people can find it helpful at times when they’re feeling really down to write down how they’re feeling or try focusing on something they enjoy doing. You could also try doing some exercise, which is a great natural way of lifting your mood.

You may also like to take a look at the relationship pages on the message boards. These are where other young people have talked about their experiences of relationships and break ups and how they’ve coped with it. You might also find it useful to look at our relationships page on Explore.

Talking things through can help with some of the difficult feelings that you’re having. There is always someone you can talk to at ChildLine by phoning on 0800 1111 (all calls are free and don’t show up on the bill) or by using the 1-2-1 chat.

You’ve done really well to write this letter and please remember that ChildLine counsellors are here to support you in any way that they can.

Take care

Sam

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