Hi there,
Thank you very much for your message. It sounds like you are very concerned about your friend. An unplanned pregnancy brings new challenges and difficult decisions, so it is always best to have as much support as possible during this time. It is really great to hear that you are being such a good friend for her.
I am not sure if your friend has been able to find information on all her different options. These can include terminating the pregnancy (abortion), support in keeping the baby, or fostering or adoption. The options she has will depend on her location and the laws that apply where she lives, as well as factors such as her age and who she lives with. You might want to take a look with your friend at the pregnancy page in the Explore section for more information.
You might also want to think about talking to your friend about contacting Brook. Brook offer free and confidential support and advice about pregnancy, contraception and individual rights. You can check their website for opening hours and different ways to contact them.
I can hear how scared your friend is about telling an adult that shes pregnant. In England, Scotland and Wales, girls who are 13 or over can sometimes get an abortion without the agreement of their parents. However, this would only happen if the doctors involved were sure the girl totally understood the consequences of the process and was able to make a calm and definite decision. Even if your friend is over 13 and very sure she wants to go ahead with an abortion, the doctors would be likely to encourage her to involve at least one of the adults in her life. Having an abortion will have a different emotional and physical effect on everyone. Having the support of an adult who can help with any problems or worries could be a big help.
It might be easier for your friend to talk to one of ChildLines counsellors where she could tell them her worries in confidence and explore options with someone who listens.
Supporting someone who is going through a difficult time can be very tough and its important to look after yourself as well. If you'd like to talk though what its been like for you to help your friend, you can phone ChildLine on 0800 1111, send us an email or log in for a 1-2-1 chat. Your friend can also get in touch in the same ways.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
